2) It's a PG13 movie made for people who like Wham!.
3) Even Rob Halford thinks Rock of Ages is gay.
4) And so would Freddie Mercury.
6) And so is Russell Brand.
8) If I wanna watch a movie about metal culture I'll watch Heavy Metal Parking Lot.
9) Or Airheads.
10) Hell, I'd rather watch ANY metal movie than Rock of Ages.
11) Rock of Ages is the worst movie since Juno.
12) Seriously, Rock of Ages makes me want to take a bath with a radio.
16) If I see Rock of Ages, I'll never be able to watch 30 Rock again.
17) Or American Splendor.
18) Or Breaking Bad.
18) Re-recording musical theatre versions of metal songs is like adding Instagram filters to paintings.
20) And Rock of Ages looks like this:
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